Are Mongolians ‘pushy’?

Last weekend, my very first Mongolian friend and I, along with a Chinese-American tourist, went to Ulaanbaatar Palace to watch the show of Australian illusionist and magician Ben Murphy. But this article is not about that – not about what happened during the show, but immediately after and its implications on the character of the people of Mongolia. After his final illusion, Ben Murphy invited the audience to have pictures taken with him at the lobby. Sure enough, majority of them did not go straight to the exit doors.

I myself, a Filipino, wanted to have a photograph with an entertainer from Australia in Mongolia – given the “globalization” theme of it all, but there were just too many people around him. As soon as my friend, acquaintance, and I were about to leave UB Palace, I heard Ben Murphy shout, “Please. Don’t push. Everybody will get a chance. Stop pushing. Please.” And so I stopped to see what the commotion was all about. Sure enough, there were throngs of people around the illusionist and magician, and they were all impatient to have a photo opportunity with him.

Were they in a hurry to get back home? The weather was not bad at all, so I did not see any reason why they had to. There were also no other cultural events after 9 pm, so they could not have been rushing to go somewhere else and not be late. Or did they need to go to the toilet after having their picture taken or taking someone’s picture with Ben Murphy? There was a break with some intermission numbers after the first hour of the show, so they must have surely gone there then. In short, there was no explanation why the crowd was not patient.

I can only conclude that they were pushing each other because Mongolians simply like to push. And that was not the first time that I heard someone complain about people pushing each other here. I have an American colleague who has been living in Mongolia for more than five years, and he always avoids grocery shopping after office hours and on weekends. He said that he doesn’t want his eggs to fall and break because customers have no regard for others. He is exaggerating, of course, but it doesn’t diminish the fact that in the grocery aisles, it is most likely that he will be pushed by a Mongolian.

I thought it was only a one-off experience, but the first (and last) time I went to Dorgio Night Club, there was, indeed, a lot of pushing on the dance floor, by the bar, while walking to the tables and restrooms, everywhere. It was ironic that I went there at night on a weekday so the place was not as packed, yet most of the people were still pushing those who were in their way. It was especially worse while I was dancing and guests either left or came to the floor. I was on one spot but at the next minute, I found myself on another because two or three people had already pushed me to one side and the other.

I have had my fair share of clubbing during my 20’s and have been to some of the world’s most famous and most crowded clubs like the ones in London and Miami, but I had never experienced being pushed around like I was in Dorgio. Outside of Mongolia, at least in the places I know of, a person gives the other a “nudge” or a simple tap on the shoulder to signal him or her to be out of the way. More often than not, a person can also tell you “Excuse me” and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you need to give him or her some space so that he or she can pass.

Now it makes sense what happened with me at the airport the first time I was coming to Mongolia. I was at my departure gate in Beijing Capital International Airport en route to Ulaanbaatar. After the airline personnel announced that it was time to board, everybody stood up from their seats and rushed to the gate. She never said anything after that – not the usual “Please look at the seat assignment on your boarding card to know when you will be asked to board the plane.” And there were no further announcements either that “Boarding is now open for rows 24 and higher.”

I guess it was moot and academic. I could say that most of the passengers were Mongolian and, yes, they were pushing each other to go through the gate and be on the plane. It was a good thing that everybody had to go through immigration and not everybody only had their carry-ons, so not all of the passengers were together at the same time. Otherwise, from the plane to the exit gate at Chinggis Khaan International Airport, I would have been the last to get out for not being from Mongolia and getting pushed around so that the person behind me could be ahead of me.

I cannot say for a fact that this nonchalant behavior of pushing other people is reflective of Mongolians being impolite, if not rude. The people of Mongolia are one of the friendliest and most polite people I know, particularly having lived in and visited more than a hundred countries. So it really makes me wonder why they are “pushy” in the literal sense of the word. Does this have to do with their warrior mentality? From the time of Chinggis Khaan when he started invading vast areas of land and expanding his empire? Pushing anyone out who was in his way?

Or maybe this is just a question of cultural differences – that what I find to be outside of society’s norms is well within that of Mongolia. In most countries, people get offended and agitated whenever they get pushed by someone, like their private space was violated. I felt that way, too, at the airport in Beijing and in a club here in Ulaanbaatar. But none of the Mongolians did. After Ben Murphy asked his audience not to push others, they still kept at it and yet no one got angry. Come to think of it, Mongolian people push and get pushed, and they are perfectly alright with that.

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