10 Crazy-Ass Adventures You Never Knew Indiana Jones Went On
Like Star Wars, the Indiana Jones franchise has an extensive expanded universe. But unlike Star Wars, all of his adventures focus on a single, extremely surly university professor. When you factor in all the comics, novels, roleplaying game campaigns, television spin-offs, choose-your-own-adventures, and pinball machines, it becomes abundantly apparent that Indiana Jones never has time to wash his hat. Here are 10 occasions things got weirder than that quartz skull imbroglio.
10.) Indiana Jones met Noah, drops the F-Bomb (1992)
Not content with discovering the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant, Indiana Jones decided to gun for a trifecta and discover Noah's Ark. In the course of this particular adventure, Indiana Jones got so riled up he screamed the F-Word at his antagonists. Honestly, Indiana Jones' life is so colorful that the rare usage of blue language is ultimately the more noteworthy occasion. From the book's synopsis:
London, 1927 [...] Indy is rather tempted when a wild-eyed Russian doctor, Vladimir Zobolotsky, tries to recruit him for an expedition to search for Noah's Ark...and then finally takes the dangerous quest after meeting Vladimir's alluring daughter, Katrina. They set out for Istanbul and Mount Ararat, fabled location of Noah's Ark, when trouble erupts. Kremlin agents, Sicilian "enforcers," and Turkish bandits all attempt to bar Vladimir, Katrina, and Indiana Jones from the archaeological find of the century...and a certain 950-year-old boat-builder...
9.) Indiana Jones inspired a Harry Potter novel
Well, not exactly. But Indiana Jones and the Philosopher's Stone did come out in 1995, whereas Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone came out in 1997. Just some more kindle to toss on the raging conflagration of Harry Potter-related coincidences.
8.) Indiana Jones met the corpse of Han Solo
It may not have been canonical, but what the hell, Indiana Jones' life is outlandish enough already. In the 2004 short story "Into The Great Unknown," Han Solo and Chewie crash land on Earth, where Indy and Short Round discover the smuggler's bleached corpse. It's less clear if the time he was whipped by Barbra Streisand counts as canon.
7.) Indiana Jones fights Darth Maul
Again, this was non-canonical, but George Lucas was in the audience for this. That has to count for something. At the 2010 Star Wars Celebration V in Disney World, Seth Green appeared in a theatrical melding of the two films. The result resembled the kind of military pageant that would've occurred had an 8-year-old assumed dictatorship of the entire planet circa 1984.
6.) Indiana Jones met a triceratops
From the 1996 book Indiana Jones and the Dinosaur Eggs. I'll let this one speak for itself:
Fresh from a ride on a Nazi submarine, Indiana Jones is persuaded by a beautiful missionary to search for her missing father in Mongolia. Professor Angus Starbuck has discovered a dinosaur bone in the Gobi Desert. But unlike other discoveries, this bone isn't ancient! As Indy crosses from China through a treacherous mountain pass to Outer Mongolia, he runs afoul of the region's fiercest warlords. Meanwhile, the world's last innocent people, dwelling in a Stone Age paradise, are poised on the brink of destruction. Suddenly Indiana Jones is dueling wild dogs and bloodthirsty killers in a desperate effort to save the most historic discovery of the twentieth century: the last living Triceratops!
5.) Indiana Jones beat the hell out of a bear
I'm only working on assumption here, but there's a reason that movie wasn't called Nameless Bear and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Also, I'll further hazard the guess that this scene was merely done to impress the bystanders on the parapet, rather than advance the plot in any substantive way.
4.) Indiana Jones fought a cyborg
In a 2009 young adult novel, the fedora-bearing archaeologist squared off against a Nazi cyborg, which is basically a rite of passage for any action hero worth his or her salt.
At one point, this cybernetic character was supposed to appear in the third Indiana Jones film, and here's some concept art of that. (Thanks, Bo Bacot!)
3.) Similarly, Indiana Jones fought a minotaur and the yeti
I suppose you need requisite monsters for an Indiana Jones-based roleplaying campaign, but something tells me everyone would've been okay with several ranks of Nazi and a few dozen species of snakes. Apropos of nothing, that is an extremely greasy minotaur.
2.) Indiana Jones' child psychiatry team included Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Alfred Adler
Hey, it's Max von Sydow!
1.) Indiana Jones loves playing the saxophone
Did you know that Harrison Ford reprised his role as Indiana Jones way back in 1993? It's true! And he came back for a special episode of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles that demonstrated the action hero's affinity for jazz music. I mean, that's why I watch the films, for the hard bop and whatnot.
10.) Indiana Jones met Noah, drops the F-Bomb (1992)
Not content with discovering the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant, Indiana Jones decided to gun for a trifecta and discover Noah's Ark. In the course of this particular adventure, Indiana Jones got so riled up he screamed the F-Word at his antagonists. Honestly, Indiana Jones' life is so colorful that the rare usage of blue language is ultimately the more noteworthy occasion. From the book's synopsis:
London, 1927 [...] Indy is rather tempted when a wild-eyed Russian doctor, Vladimir Zobolotsky, tries to recruit him for an expedition to search for Noah's Ark...and then finally takes the dangerous quest after meeting Vladimir's alluring daughter, Katrina. They set out for Istanbul and Mount Ararat, fabled location of Noah's Ark, when trouble erupts. Kremlin agents, Sicilian "enforcers," and Turkish bandits all attempt to bar Vladimir, Katrina, and Indiana Jones from the archaeological find of the century...and a certain 950-year-old boat-builder...
9.) Indiana Jones inspired a Harry Potter novel
Well, not exactly. But Indiana Jones and the Philosopher's Stone did come out in 1995, whereas Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone came out in 1997. Just some more kindle to toss on the raging conflagration of Harry Potter-related coincidences.
8.) Indiana Jones met the corpse of Han Solo
It may not have been canonical, but what the hell, Indiana Jones' life is outlandish enough already. In the 2004 short story "Into The Great Unknown," Han Solo and Chewie crash land on Earth, where Indy and Short Round discover the smuggler's bleached corpse. It's less clear if the time he was whipped by Barbra Streisand counts as canon.
7.) Indiana Jones fights Darth Maul
Again, this was non-canonical, but George Lucas was in the audience for this. That has to count for something. At the 2010 Star Wars Celebration V in Disney World, Seth Green appeared in a theatrical melding of the two films. The result resembled the kind of military pageant that would've occurred had an 8-year-old assumed dictatorship of the entire planet circa 1984.
6.) Indiana Jones met a triceratops
From the 1996 book Indiana Jones and the Dinosaur Eggs. I'll let this one speak for itself:
Fresh from a ride on a Nazi submarine, Indiana Jones is persuaded by a beautiful missionary to search for her missing father in Mongolia. Professor Angus Starbuck has discovered a dinosaur bone in the Gobi Desert. But unlike other discoveries, this bone isn't ancient! As Indy crosses from China through a treacherous mountain pass to Outer Mongolia, he runs afoul of the region's fiercest warlords. Meanwhile, the world's last innocent people, dwelling in a Stone Age paradise, are poised on the brink of destruction. Suddenly Indiana Jones is dueling wild dogs and bloodthirsty killers in a desperate effort to save the most historic discovery of the twentieth century: the last living Triceratops!
5.) Indiana Jones beat the hell out of a bear
I'm only working on assumption here, but there's a reason that movie wasn't called Nameless Bear and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Also, I'll further hazard the guess that this scene was merely done to impress the bystanders on the parapet, rather than advance the plot in any substantive way.
4.) Indiana Jones fought a cyborg
In a 2009 young adult novel, the fedora-bearing archaeologist squared off against a Nazi cyborg, which is basically a rite of passage for any action hero worth his or her salt.
At one point, this cybernetic character was supposed to appear in the third Indiana Jones film, and here's some concept art of that. (Thanks, Bo Bacot!)
3.) Similarly, Indiana Jones fought a minotaur and the yeti
I suppose you need requisite monsters for an Indiana Jones-based roleplaying campaign, but something tells me everyone would've been okay with several ranks of Nazi and a few dozen species of snakes. Apropos of nothing, that is an extremely greasy minotaur.
2.) Indiana Jones' child psychiatry team included Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Alfred Adler
Hey, it's Max von Sydow!
1.) Indiana Jones loves playing the saxophone
Did you know that Harrison Ford reprised his role as Indiana Jones way back in 1993? It's true! And he came back for a special episode of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles that demonstrated the action hero's affinity for jazz music. I mean, that's why I watch the films, for the hard bop and whatnot.
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